Monday, December 27, 2010

Microfiction Monday

Microfiction Monday

Susan at Stony River challenges bloggers every Monday with a linky party called, Microfiction Monday.

She posts a picture and in 140 characters or less, you are to write a story or short poem based on the picture.

So I told her, “I know I said I’d go with you, but you said, ‘Across the pond,’ right? “ Like I knew it was a figure of speech. British chicks! Why can’t they talk American!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Holy Water

Our bodies are about 70% water. Planet Earth is about 70% water. It’s what makes us very special, if not unique in the Universe.

We people can go without food for lots more days than most of us blog readers will ever know, but we can’t get by without water. Yet we behave as if clean water is always going to be there for us, and that our bodies are going to work right, regardless of what we do.

How much of the water we drink is intentionally polluted by us with sugar and chemical flavorings? Guess what our bodies have to do when we do that? Our bodies have to flush them out with. . . . . duh duh da daaaaaa –

Those big four minerals our bodies use to balance our ticking and our tocking, our sleeping and our rocking, and our incredibly complex electrical system - calcium, sodium, potassium, and magnesium - are carried around our bodies in water. The nutrients we ingest from the bounty Earth provides us are carried though our bodies with water and eventually are filtered by our livers and kidneys, lungs and skin.

But just as we have kidneys and livers to filter the poisons out of our bodies, Earth has ways of filtering. She has swamps and wetlands. She has shellfish and silt, catfish and trees, but we tend to want to drain swamps and wetlands, overfish and cut down too many trees. And the chemicals we create in plastics, such as dioxins – the most carcinogenic group of boogers in the world - are carried around Earth’s body through water. We humans are not the only beings, by the way, who use Earth’s water, but we are the only ones who poison it to such a degree. And we are the only ones who intentionally destroy Earth’s organs.

When our Western bodies get out of balance through what we give or don’t give them, we tend to put chemicals in the form of medicine into them to get back in synch. I am probably guiltier of this than most. But then our bodies have to figure out and incorporate and filter those chemicals.

What I’m trying to say in this possibly convoluted fashion is that the Earth and we aren’t so different. In fact we are the same. Let’s make a promise to stop polluting us. Let’s drink more water that doesn’t come from plastic bottles. Let’s give our bodies what they/we crave. And let’s remember that we are the Earth and we are water. And we are Holy.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Christmas Teeth

Christmas means many things.  One thing it means to me is that it's time for my regular dental check up.  My hygienist said mine were the healthiest gums she'd seen in a week.  Now that might not sound like a big thing to you, but to someone who insists the dentist staff meets her at the front door with nitrous oxide for a cleaning, it's a very big thing indeed.

Other than Deborah Kay, my friend who is a dental hygienist and instilled in me the importance of floss and unfortunately lives a gazillion miles from me, I just can't really trust people who choose to earn a living putting their hands in other people's mouths.  It's just not right.  So I've developed a bit of OCD around flossing to try to keep the monsters away. 

Decades ago my dentist finally convinced me that I really had to get that lower wisdom tooth extracted.  It wasn't getting any smaller and it was causing some problems.  So I went to an oral surgeon.  The tooth was crosswise, impacted and looked pretty HUGE in the xray. 

When the day of the surgery came I was proudly doing my calming exercises and doing quite well as every single person in the office tried without success to get an IV started.  Finally the surgeon ordered some nitrous oxide, which I'd never had before.   He said it would help them start the IV.  I don't know, maybe they didn't have as much trust in my relaxation techniques as I did. 

So they started the gas and it was LOVELY.  I tried to pass the mask around to the surgical team.  I said, "Forget the tooth, let's party!"  I told them they were my very best friends ever.

They all laughed, too.  Maybe the gas was leaking out.  Finally the surgeon said, "Say goodbye now.  The IV is started."  I said goodbye and the next thing I knew I was on a small cot and a nurse kept trying to get me into a sitting position and I kept falling over.  She finally got me into my coat and out the door with my husband who got me to the car for the 30 minute drive home.

I told him all about the IV fiasco and that I couldn't believe I'd put this off so long because I felt fine.  I didn't even have any pain.  He pulled into the pharmacy on the way home and I told him I didn't need the pain meds filled.  He told me just to wait in the car.  We got home and I went straight to bed. 

I woke gagging several hours later, convinced that a truck was parked on my face.  I pulled a bloody mess of gauze out of my mouth and tried to call my husband, but my mouth was such a mess I couldn't make words.  My husband came in with a pain pill and some water, which I somehow got down. I was crying.

He said, "I was worried about you, all the way home you were  making weird noises."   I guess the anesthesia took longer to wear off than I thought.

Yes, we all have our favorite Christmas memories.  That one isn't one of mine.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Happy Solstice

In the wee hours this morning I watched the moonlight that filled my room wane then wax. A new year came. The solstice and a lunar eclipse came on the healing heels of an amazing meteor shower. The Universe did it all without any help from me.

All there was for me to do was appreciate it. Maybe you think my intentions, my candles’ light refracting through my crystals, my energy had nothing at all to do with the shadow crossing the moon. Maybe you think there is nothing at all magic about all the recent happenings in the sky. Maybe you think the Universe doesn’t give a stitch about my appreciation.

Maybe you are wrong.

The Universe is very big, indeed. There is room for magic. There is room for a child born of a virgin in a stable under an auspicious star. There is room for a lamp that gives light for eight days with only enough oil for one. There is room to celebrate seven principles of community and family. There is room for you and there is room for me. In fact you and I and the oil and the star and the continents and the families, the water, fire, sky, earth, and air are the Universe and we are whether or not we believe it. So does what we believe affect anything? It might be the only thing that does. Weird, eh? One of those pair o'socks.

So whether you are Christian or Jewish or Muslim or Wiccan or one of the faithful of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, in some way you are Pantheist. And I welcome you to this bright new year. May we all get our intentions pointed in the way of peace and understanding.

Monday, December 20, 2010

I've had better days

Two more haiku

She came for healing
Why to me, I am not whole
She died on Friday

Look. Loud bright smiling
Hear.  Crystal quiet unsure
Know. She is not known.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Won't You Haiku

If you'd like to share a weekend haiku, please do.  Share it here or give us a link

One short river deep
One long slow river shallow
Dry, we can not know.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Won't You Haiku

Won't You Haiku is a weekend challenge.  Post your 5-7-5 syllable word tea over the weekend and let me know you've done so.  Be sure to read a few other's haikus too.
I look forward to reading yours!

December 11

A season apart
Nods to silent holy nights
Forgotten in the din

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Raindrop Genesis Story

From cloud to earth a raindrop fell
Found friends, then more and more
Joyful dancing flowing crashing
O’er mountains did they pour

In young Earth life the raindrop laughed
Rejoicing without care
Dancing with trees, rocks and land
And splashing into air.

Then calming down enjoying sun
The raindrop joined the mud
Then back to clouds where friends did ask
Did you see Noah and his flood?

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Haiku Weekends

Let's try some haiku.  Post your 5-7-5 syllable word tea, inspired by the picture of the week, on Saturday or Sunday.  Leave a link in your comment and be sure to visit a couple of other posts.  It'll be ok. . . trust me.

Haiku Weekend One

Endless sand circles
Yet single grains unnoticed
Remain after waves


What is this pattern
Dark on light the circles form
What is the purpose


Who made 5-7-5
As rules to pattern rhythm
It's just black on white

Friday, December 3, 2010

Friday 55

Friday Flash 55
If you want to play, write a story in 55 words and let the G-Man know you've done it.

(Here's my atypically unfunny one)

Gray-green hard cold heavy metal full skull
Traitor muscles hot red throbbing angry spasms
Raging throat ears nose

Be quiet, be still. I’ve things to do.

Earl Grey ginger lemon honey steam comfort
Clean soft warm bed cold air
Morphia mercy angel numb sleep
Forget wasted time

Drifting off I watch me laugh and run.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Pocket Words

Mrs. Read, my first grade teacher, told my class that we should always have a clean hanky or tissue handy.  I think that's a mighty good rule and I try to abide by it. 

I think we should also always have a meaningful quote handy just in case we're caught without words of our own.  Here are a few that I find particularly helpful.  Feel free to use them.

1) Life is like a waterfall.  I don't know to whom I should attribute this.  But it's a good one to use if you need some time to think and you really don't care if the listener thinks you're a bit off center for not really knowing just what the two have in common.

2)  Help me, Rhonda, Help help me, Rhonda - The Beach Boys.  This is especially useful when you want to express exasperation without dropping a naughty bomb.

3)  I shall be telling this with a sigh, somewhere ages and ages hence. - Robert Frost.  This one is appropriate if ever you should catch yourself doing something that you know will be branded into your memory and you aren't quite sure if it will be a good memory or a regret.

4) Thank you Jesus, I've been to Jersey! - This was said by a student in a class I taught in response to understanding that I meant water fountain when I said bubbler.  I think it's appropriate whenever I surprise myself by knowing an answer to anything.

5) Don't poke no beans up your nose. - My grandmother.  It's just a nice way of saying Goodbye.  Be careful.

6) Yook dem cwouds, Edie. - my friend, Edie's 4 year old niece.  This is a very flexible saying.  You can substitute any noun for cwouds.  For example, in heavy traffic you might say Yook dem cars, Edie. If you're at the zoo you might say Yook dem tigers, Edie.  And the real beauty of it is, you don't even have to know anyone named Edie. It will always make you appear intelligent.

7) You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need. - Mick Jagger  It's nicer than just saying quit yer bitchin', but it means the same thing.

8) This, too, shall pass. - Sufi poet.  I say or think this at least once an hour.  It's always true and good to remember lest we get too attached to or too frustrated with some thing, person, or situation.

So thanks for reading.  Until next time, don't poke no beans up your nose.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010


If your adenoids offend thee, pluck them out.  It's in the Bible somewhere.  And my adenoids are adannoying.  How big a deal can it be - they aren't that big and I only have one tonsil.

I think it's important to have a diagnosis and treatment plan ready before I go to the doctor's office.  I like to save the boy time.  So I did my research and decided that my sinusy cooties of the last few months are actually adannoyism.

"So how long has this been going on?"  asked Dougie

"A few months," I whined.  Offensive adenoids make ones voice whiny.

"So why didn't you come in sooner?  He had to repeat it because my adannoyism affects my hearing.

"I'm already putting your kids through college, I didn't think I should send you to
Aspen for the holidays, too.  Besides, I don't have an infection or anything."

"And why do you think that?"  The youngster asked his questions between shining lights in my ears, mouth, and nose.  What a way to make a living!

"I haven't had a fever and there isn't gross stuff coming out of my nose.  Well, stuff.  But you know, it's not that highlighter-yellow stuff."

"You do have a fever (100.4) and there's stuff in there.  Believe me."

"Hmmm.  Well, why do I only have one tonsil?"

"You have two.  It's just that one of them is really big and the other one isn't."

I didn't have an out loud answer for that, but in my head I said, "Well, oooh la la, Mr. fancy pants medical doctor with your fancy instruments and fresh batteries."

It's not my fault my diagnosis was off.  I realized when I got home with my steroids and antibiotics that my thermometer is stuck on 97.6.  And I really don't like to study the stuff that comes out of my nose.  It's just not one of my hobbies.

So I slept from about 2:30 to 7:46 this evening and now of course, I'm eating the contents of the refrigerator and cursing the invention of steroids and adenoids and hemorrhoids, and all things that end in oid, while I'm at it. 

And if I had Dougie's home number I think I'd call him just to wake him up.

Wasted Youth

My friend recently asked what was probably meant to be a rhetorical question, but I'm fixin to answer it anyway.  That'll teach her.  She wanted to know what was good about aging.

Here are some of my favs in no certain order:
  1. Free senior coffee at Chick Fil A, 25% discount at GoodWill on Tuesdays, and senior discounts in general.
  2. Enjoying other people's children now and then. Mostly then.
  3. Understanding the phrase "I've forgotten more about that than you know."
  4. AARP
  5. Telling young people about my experience at Woodstock (even though I wasn't there.)
  6. Finally having an excuse for forgetfulness.
  7. Natural platinum blonde highlights
  8. Being OK with me.
  9. Freedom to be flat honest (blunt? tactless?) when the occasion calls for it and knowing that I get to decide when that is.
  10. Being fearless.  I mean, whatcha gonna do, kill me?  Pffftt, you gotta come up with something better than that! 
  11. Old friends
  12. Understanding more than I have need to explain.
  13. Peace
If I had a dollar for every time I said or thought, "If I knew then what I know now. . . " I'd be able to retire someday.  But nobody is going to give me a dollar for that.  (Too bad, because I could really stretch those bucks at GoodWill on Tuesdays.)  The point is, youth truly is wasted on the young.

There's no getting around the fact that age does some wicked, wicked things to physical bodies.  It's a good thing that with age, we often figure out that we're more than just our bodies.