Thursday, June 21, 2012

Fay of the Stardust Clan

My roommate (OK, so we haven't lived together since college and that was a year or two ago, but I still consider her, My Roommate) is very into genealogy.  And she looked into my family tree for me.  I had some questions about my heritage.  It's just amazing the stuff I'm finding out.  So far, my ancestors seem to share an affinity for marrying the hired help and growing great beards.  You should see Great Aunt Hazel!

My mind continues to be blown regarding this genealogy stuff, not because it's strange, but because it's news to me.  So many family secrets. It's hard to imagine a time (although I understand it) when people felt as if they had to lose their "Jewishness" on the boat over here, or hide the fact that their father was "no good Irish." I'm trying to get my mind around feeling a part of any tribe of human beings. 
I was going to say I'm proud of my heritage and it's not untrue, however, I would be just as proud if my heritage reveals Inuit or African or Chinese or. . . . Gourd help me, Australian roots. The bottom line is we are all mammals on planet Earth, as far as I know. That's about the smallest tribe to which I'll identify. 
In fact, I feel more at ease with trees and other animals than I do with most human beings. Maybe my tribe is "living" beings on Planet Earth. Well, you know, I've always had a strong attraction to many rocks - geodes, mica, those smooth black river stones - and the rivers.  The Mississippi River and I are in love.  Maybe my tribe is Things on Planet Earth. Or maybe it's just Planet Earth.
Come to think of it, we are all of us born of stardust. We are all of us the Universe.
Hello, I'm happy to meet you.  I am Fay of the Stardust Clan.
Now what was my question about heritage, again?

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Recession TV

I'll be so happy when this economy is straightened out.  And it's not just the housing and inventing crisis that are bothering me today.  Oh, no, I'm concerned about something that touches every American where it hurts - Recession TV. I long for the good ol' days when television producers actually made entertaining shows with that stuff they used to use - talent.

Now we can choose among any reality show one can imagine as long as ones imagination is the size of a pea.  If one show gets a good share of viewers, there is no need to come up with a new idea, just beat that dead horse until it reincarnates as an ice road crab fisherman.  And not only are the show concepts enough to send a Sophomore to the library, they often spotlight the worst of humanity.

I give you Say Yes to the Dress. This is an ongoing program about spoiled suburban brats demanding that Daddy spends $12,000 on wedding gowns while Nana and 17 bridesmaids huff and puff and a fa-laming designer nearly pulls out his perfect hair in frustration.  Riveting.

How about Storage Wars, a heart wrenching look at the same stereotyped characters bidding on unseen contents of storage buildings?  Wow!    Or the show about cake decorating in which real people put their lives on the line for their profession.  Speaking of careers, you can watch shows about beauty parlors, hotels, tattoo parlors or restaurants which are run by morons and saved by bloodless experts who come in and make everyone cry.  Come one, who doesn't want to watch that!

Do you like programs about the supernatural?  Oh, good, because you can watch Ghost Hunters, Ghost Hunters, International, My Ghost Story Caught on Tape, Celebrity Ghost Stories, Haunted History, America's Most Haunted, The Haunting and I understand new next season, Ghost Storage Wars.

Or maybe you prefer programs about UFOs.  Well, if you do, you are in luck, Baby.  UFO Hunters, Ancient Aliens, UFO Files, UFOs Caught on Tape are some of your choices, not that you're going to be able which one you're watching.  There really are only a hand full of experts on the subject and they are all on each show.

I have my own idea for a completely new show and I think it's going to be a huge success.  I'm going to call it,  My Big Fat Cajun Swamp Alien Wedding Cake Storage Wars.