My Jingle Has a First Name. . . .

I am not a marketing professional, but I've always been interested in the psychology behind advertising and marketing. Many bucks are spent on ads and there's a ton of research behind most of it, so one would assume that bad marketing wouldn't exist - at least not for long.  But some of the marketing that assaults me puzzles me greatly.

Why, for example would anyone assume that it would be a good thing for a cat not to  be able to find her litterbox.  I have had cats and generally speaking, it's very bad indeed if they pee on the floor. The goal of having a litterbox is the cat using it, which implies it has to be able to find it.

Speaking of cats, why would anyone want to associate them with a sandwich.  Why would a sandwich restaurant think tone-deaf cats singing non-rhyming songs about them would make me want to eat their sandwiches?  The first thing that goes through my mind is perhaps they make sandwiches out of cat meat.  Not a good thing

And is it just South Carolina or do other, possibly  more literate places have billboards stating, "U litter, U lazy."   Is Bubba more likely to keep his beer can in the truck after reading that?

I really like the commercial with the drop-dead gorgeous man riding the horse backward, but I can't tell you know what's advertised in that.  Perhaps I'm not the target audience, eh?

I had bad dreams for weeks about waking up next to some freak wearing a frozen king mask.  Not once did it make me want to go to Burger King.  It makes me afraid to go to Burger King. 

I don't want to drive the same car that gerbils drive.  I don't think cheaper is better when it comes to pizza, and I'm offended by skinny 20 year-olds advertising wrinkle cream.

However, I've known Empire Carpet's phone number (588-2300) for decades and I still know you meet the nicest people on a Honda bike (it's the world's greatest seller and I know you'll like. . . .)  My bologna still has a first name, Baby and if I eat too much of it I know enough to plop, plop, fizz, fizz. And maybe it's just because I'm a Pepper (wouldn't you like to be a Pepper,too?) but it seems to me we need jingles. I don't know about you, but give me a catchy tune  and I'm half way to the checkout.

My daughter and son-in-law are both in marketing, and I'm fixin' to give them a call (I understand they are part of the 99% of America covered by my cell company) and ask them what's up with this stuff.