As we settle into the election process for the most powerful person in the world (maybe) I just can't get myself to feel much except embarrassment. Really? This is the best we can do? A bunch of used tissues that know how to put down the competition and do it readily with lots of money that comes from. . . .where do you reckon?
But the headline says Actress stuns in plunging lace gown!
You don't really still believe in a democracy sort of thing where one person gets one vote and those elected actually care about individuals? I mean, you actually know that whole idea is a unicorn, right? Pay no attention to those corporations behind the curtain. It's so much easier that way.
Who will continue on American Idol?
My spring flowers are blooming. It's January. I'm so relieved to remember that global warming is just a bit of liberal propaganda! Whew! And really, as far as I know there is no such thing as a Polar Bear anyway. And even if they do exist, what have they done for me lately?
New evidence proves Big Foot is in charge of Area 51!
The sheriff of a neighboring county has publicly encouraged women to get concealed weapons permits and stay armed. A customer in a waffle house saw a young man demanding cash from the cashier. The customer pulled his weapon and shot the young man dead. No charges were filed, but the customer got his breakfast for free.
Photograph shows Dalai Lama eating cheese burger!
In the past year there was legislation proposed in at least one state to outlaw fast food restaurants from giving toys away in kids' meals because it encouraged childhood obesity. No one seemed to realize that children seldom drive themselves to the drive thru. More importantly, what we teach in school cafeterias is vastly different from what we teach in nutrition and health classes. But dang, vegetables are expensive, aren't they? I mean, I heard they were.
The one cosmetic surgery you can't afford to go without!
The free clinic isn't taking new patients. They are over-burdened and certainly underfunded. But the emergency room down the street is taking the overflow. Oh, sure, it's the most expensive health care in the Universe, but so what? Wait. . . . who ends up paying for that in the end? We don't have a broken health care system, but those without insurance have no health care system at all.
Eight herbs that can help you live to 100!
How much do you reckon we spend on law enforcement to make sure no one smokes cannabis, a plant that's been considered medicinal for millennia? Can't be that much, right? Besides, I heard it leads to hard drug use. Why can't those people just have a martini like normal people?
It's a miracle! Picture of Jesus found in stain on mental hospital floor
I don't pretend that supporting a big fancy building that sits empty most of the week makes me a better person or that it helps the community one iota. But it might help me keep my job. Let's just come out with it, it's got more to do with Benjamin than Jesus.
But hey, if you want to pretend that money doesn't buy elections, that anyone with a will to succeed in America can do so, that Jesus will save you from obesity, or that the tooth fairie is going to make your next mortgage payment; you just go right ahead. It's all right. It's all right.