Monday, April 19, 2010

Losing Divine Virginity

What if on the very last day of seminary, the head dude takes everyone aside and makes them swear never to divulge what they are about to hear, then tells them that the whole thing is a big bunch of water trough scum? What if the powers-that-be have figured out that religion really is the opiate of the masses and that nearly everyone on Earth is a hopeless addict.

Perhaps the true power behind every throne is a group of various religion professors. They would know better than to let the majority of the population go through withdrawal at the same time. If you've ever seen anyone in the throws of opiate withdrawal you'll know what I mean. It's enough to make a nun puke on Sunday morning!

So maybe just a few people are being detoxed at a time. Those recovering souls are then equipped to help others up those twelve steps to the clear part of the windows.

The newly graduated seminarians would of course keep the secret. They may do it because they'd invested so much of their lives studying the elaborate scam, or maybe because they could see the danger in letting the cat out of the bag. Maybe they'd keep the secret because they'd have a chance at real power if they did. Or maybe all the Kool-aid they drink over the course of their education makes them forget any new idea three seconds after they hear it.

Detox and recovery is seldom pleasant - often down right dangerous. But once someone has a fairly firm recovery going in this area, she's not likely to relapse. In fact, I've never known anyone who's made it to the top step, go back down. It's sort of like losing one's virginity - sort of difficult to go back and why on Earth would you want to?

One recovering friend of mine told me that there's nothing worse than a reformed whore. She was reacting to my telling her to quit smoking. Pretty soon after quitting though, a new non-smoker learns to be pretty selective about quit-smoking messages for fear of driving smokers to drink.

I guess it's the same with all recovery. It's one day at a time. First things first, easy does it, yadda yadda yadda. It's very good to have a support group. (see Universal Pantheist Society) I'll shut up when I see a bumper sticker that says, "I'm a friend of Fay C."

1 comment:

  1. You don't have to shut up, Fay, but I'd like one of those bumper stickers anyway.

    I don't the term, "elaborate scam," is strong enough, but you're certainly in the ballpark. And you're right—once recovered, relapse seldom, if never, occurs.