Boobs

Yesterday I had an email conversation with my supervisor who was two doors away. 

"I have been informed that you are not wearing a bra today.  If staff notice, clients will notice.  I need you to go  home and put one on."

"Actually, I have one on.  Please tell whomever that I'm sorry my breasts are offensive."

"I'm sorry.  If I hear any more complaints I'll tell them they are mistaken."

Later I flashed a bit embarrassed supervisor a bit of bra strap.  She said she thought someone must have been looking too hard.  I want to be clear that I don't blame my supervisor.  Someone put her in a silly situation when I'm sure she had more important things to do.

Very often I don't wear a bra.  I just hate them.  Who came up with the idea that women must corral, cage, bind their breasts?  What is this breast obsession?  Usually, I figure if someone is offended by the sight of my possibly cage-free breast though a shirt they should just look elsewhere.  It's really not my problem that they have nothing better to think about and unless they have an appointment, I can't treat their neurosis.

Grown men call them boobies, pink-nosed puppies, headlights, racks, knockers, melons, titties.  Adults actually giggle about a little jiggle.  Careers are made and broken over breasts.  I don't get it.  Television shows critique famous women on the appearance of their breasts in bikinis.  Movies are deemed unfit for young people to see if a breast is flashed and so surgically enhanced breasts are flashed in movies to make them seem  "adult."

AND I'm told to go home and put on a bra.

I fed two babies and donated a lot of milk for babies who needed it and I was never ashamed or hesitant to do so. However, I've known lots of people who hide when they nurse their babies.  But heck, everyone feels perfectly ok about sticking an artificial breast holding artificial milk in a baby's mouth in public.  Huh?  Tell me that makes sense.

They are just breasts, for crying in a bucket.  It is very unlikely that they are going to sneak up and bite someone.  They aren't venomous.  They don't make funny faces to make people laugh and they can't hypnotize.  They aren't satanic or evil in any way. They are breasts.  More than likely you've got a couple, I've got a couple. 

I also have elbows.  I brazenly expose them in public.  Sometimes I gently poke people with them in an ever so suggestive manner.  Don't you think they're cute?  I don't wear elbow pads.  I'm a naughty, naughty girl!

Melons are fruit, headlights are on cars, knockers are for doors and if you giggle about breasts you are a boob.