Word Casserole

If I tell you I'm fixin to pitch a fit, you probably know what I'm talking about.  If you're from the South, you definitely know. You may even know the different kinds of fits one may pitch.  I could pitch a tizzy or a conniption or a shit fit.  But what if you were talking to someone who was just learning to speak American?  How would you justify saying you were fixin to pitch a conniption when you meant you were becoming upset?

The words don't make sense.

If you tell me you were petrified or mortified, I probably understand you were afraid rather than turned to stone or became gangrenous.  Why do we say really good or really tired?  Do we need to inform people that this time we mean what we say?

Why is it cool to be called hot but an insult to be called cold? How neat is a pin?  Do pigs sweat?  Do fish drink? Are whistles slick? Do you realize that birds eat all day long?

What does it really mean to haul off and pop somebody a good one?  What does it mean to be a piece of work?  Is pie easier than a piece of cake?  Wouldn't it be scary if things really came out of the blue and hit you like a rock? Are buttons really that cute?

Dogs are man's best friend but if you call someone a dog or a bitch you might get socked and it would have nothing to do with what you wear on your feet.

Sometimes we just exaggerate or we redundantly say the same thing over and over again repetitively.  Do we need to say brutal when describing a murder or a rape?  If something is very, very, very strange is it stranger than just very, very strange?

I knew of a man who gave his brother a ton of shit for his birthday.  It was cow manure, actually and he had it delivered to his brother's driveway.  But usually if we say that, we don't mean it quite that literally.  The same goes for giving someone flack or grief.

It was a scream!  It was a riot!  That guy was killing me!   All that might mean t comedian was good !

I've only scratched the surface, too.  I could go on forever.  There's a ton of examples I could use.  But you get my drift don't you?  I mean you get my point, right?

At a meeting this morning, someone mentioned that someone was really into the ganja and no one batted an eye.  We didn't skip a beat. Of course, we were all pretty laid back and took it all easy. 

Don't get your undies in a bundle or anything, I mean I guess it's not that big a deal.  Let's just try to think about the words we use.  It will blow your mind, Baby.

What Did You Say?

I love words. I love the way they rearrange and group together to change things. I love to arrange and rearrange them myself and I am a word-watcher. I notice and appreciate the way word-skilled people carve with them.

Words build and destroy; encourage and devastate; control and free. You can do a lot with words. I hope I am never without them. Words are my friends and like all exciting friends, they've bailed me out many times and they've landed me in trouble more times than I can count.

I'm intrigued with the way people who supposedly speak the same language can have a conversation and be totally in the dark, too.

When I first moved to Northern Wisconsin from Central Illinois, I had to learn a new dialect. "Come by me once, eh," meant "Please come here." Who knew?

When I moved to Appalachia I learned again. "I kindly just cut iverthang off," meant "I conserve electricity."

Friends from Australia were amazed when we asked them if they "shagged." Ooops. We meant danced.

And Brits! Well, one hardly knows where to begin. They don't know a torch from a flashlight, a chip from a fry, or fancy from like. And while the Aussies are often crude, the Brits think it's rude to come out and say what they mean. It's amazing that we aren't at war with them.

Where I grew up the word you could mean one person or several people. Up North multiple people were addressed as yous. In Appalachia it's you'ns. In the South it's ya'll. And using the wrong word can cause you to sound snooty, stupid, alien or any combination of those.

All this mumbo-jumbo, gobbledeegook, and falldarall just to make a point. Words are important. We must choose them with care. When we don't make sure that a word or phrase means the same thing to you as it does to someone else, we risk a great deal. We could ask someone to dance and end up in a most embarrassing situation.