Happy Birthday Fiddy-Six

I'm fixin' to be fiddy-six.  Now, isn't that just a good enough age to be?  My hair is getting more and more silver, which is a beautiful color for hair.  I am free of trends and fashions.  I am comfortable in my thinning skin.  I laugh at myself. Sure I can speak my mind, but I can also speak my heart without embarrassment or fear.

I'm not crazy about the aches and pains and I'm certain  that I used to be smarter.  But I'm also certain I'm wiser now.  And at the end of the day, I reckon wisdom trumps smarts. 

I don't really understand the obsession our culture has with sustaining youth.  Just glance at those magazines in the checkout line.  Everyone of them promises the secret to feeling and looking younger.  Why is that?  At what age do we stop wishing to be a bit older and start wishing to be a bit younger?  I guess it must be around 27 for most people.  I think that's such a waste.  I'm so much cooler than I was at 27.

Why don't we just embrace the age we are now?  Right now, I'm older than I've ever been before and I'm really ok with that.  If I get smashed to death by a falling oak tree tomorrow, that would be ok with me, but I'd be a bit disappointed that I have so much more to do. My bucket list grows faster than my to-read list.   

There are a few pearls of wisdom I've collected from the great philosophers of the ages over my years.

• Life is short, but it's wide
• You can't always get what you want
• Obla di, obla da life goes on
• To everything there is a season and time to every purpose under heaven
• What you think about me is really none of my business
• Everything is holy now
• Sometimes you just gotta
• Listen
• Love and knowledge are never wasted
• Things will own you if you let them
• There's a big problem with perfection

I'm sure there are more, but you know, I don't remember things like I used to.  I think it's because I'm taking up valuable memory space with gems such as the exact words used to break my heart every single time it's been broken.  That's a lot of times.  Lucky for me that thing heals.  And how boring would life be if you didn't have your heart broken by cruel middle school kids or a forgotten anniversary or the death of a friend or loving someone who didn't love you back?  My bridge master told me that if I didn't go set a third of the time, I wasn't bidding bravely enough. 

Be fearless!  You get better at screwing up the  more you practice. 

In the seconds before that big oak tree falls on me if I have any regrets, I hope to honk they are for things I've done and not for things I haven't tried.

A Box of Dates

I'm no good at dates. That is, I'm not good at remembering significant dates. I really like the fruit, dates. I could eat those all day long, but specific dates I eat seldom ask me to remember them. My sister has given me calendars and address books with everyone's important dates written in them. I lose them. I don't do it on purpose, mind you. It's just that there is only so much organization given to each family and my sister got my share.

I don't remember birthdays very often. If you weren't born of me or in the month of July, there is little chance I'll remember your birthday. It's not that I don't think of you, I've had the perfect birthday card for a good friend for over two years! And when I do remember, I seldom do anything about it other than send nice vibes to the person celebrating.

I don't like holidays much either. It's not just bah humbug, though I suppose there's a good measure of that in me. To me, the expectation of a gift or celebration diminishes it's value. I just sort of like to do things regardless of the calendar. So this year I decided that I'm just not going to worry about giving people gifts or sending cards on any certain date. I regularly tell people I care about that I care about them I tell cool people that they are cool. I think it's a good thing to remind people of their wonderful traits. There isn't much danger that someone is going to hear something good about herself too much. And I'll give gifts when I find something that I want to give to someone else.

It is a benefit of age that I no longer give a poo about appearing foolish. I have soooooo much experience with appearing foolish that I do it very well. So if someone thinks I'm mushy or forgetful or Scrooge, it's ok with me. As long as they don't think I'm a Republican, I can live with it.

I don't care if you don't agree with this, either. Maybe you like the calendar. You can celebrate Christmas or or Memorial Day or National Citrus Week any old time you want. You can celebrate the day you were born or the day you turned 47 days old or the day you lost your first tooth any old day you choose. I just don't care. It's not that I don't care that you were born or that you turned 47 days old or that you lost your first tooth, it's just that the specific day on which it happened doesn't really matter to me.

I don't think we need special occasions to celebrate, either. Every occasion is worth celebrating. I'm here right now and it's grand. It doesn't matter if the glass is half full or half empty, let's fill it again and toast to the color magenta. Why wait? Life is short, but it's wide if you celebrate every moment.

In fact, I think we should all have our funerals when we can enjoy them. Come on, you know you've thought about what you'd like your funeral to be. Well if there are specifics you'd like to see, you'd better do it now. If you're concerned about being socially acceptable, call it a birthday party.

So don't be looking for that holiday card from me - at least not on a holiday. I am going to mail that birthday card to my friend now. Her birthday was in August, I think. Maybe I should send her a box of dates.