All Outta Proportion

I work in a situation that is often dangerous.  I work with murderers, rapists, thieves, liars and sociopaths. . . . and then there are my patients.  So you'd think that nothing much could rattle the clinic as a whole, wouldn't you?  But you'd be wrong.

Today a patient spotted a little lizard in my office.  It was a shy, cute little thing.  When I was alone I gave it a little saucer of water and some goldfish food because I was fresh out of lizard food.  I named my new friend Jarrod after a guy who used to work down the hall and played a mean air guitar.

But word got out and #2 boss freaked out.  I was afraid she'd scare Jarrod, so I closed my office door in her face.  Maintenance was called to dispose of Jarrod.  I stood fast.  Then #1 HR person arrived and Jarrod was ordered out.  I gave him a ride in a coffee cup and he was relocated to a tree outside the back door. 

Let me just restate some things for you.  My life and the lives of the people with whom I work have been threatened.  I've been assaulted at work.  People to whom human life is worth less than their next high are constantly in the building along with people who believe the CIA is ordering them to kill all people who have on red shirts. People have tried to kill themselves in my office.  These things are no big deal. 

But God forbid there is a 4 inch lizard in my office.  It's unsafe.  It might have germs.  I just don't get it.

Of course, I'm happy for Jarrod.  I'm sure he's happy in the tree.  Either that or he's been eaten by a crow.  Either way, I'm sort of jealous

Exhaust

I'm just too tired to be clever right now.  But my beets and turnips are planted. Hey, some days you just have to prioritize, minimize and rationalize.

Why Don't We Do It In the Road

I've been thinking about Earth Day.  April 22, guys, time to start planning.

The first Earth Day, my class and I walked the streets of Carthage Illinois and picked up trash, which we deposited on the court house lawn.  Unfortunately, I don't remember recycling it after we made our point. But now older, wiser and oh so much more beautiful, I think it's time for a little more street walking.

Hopefully, we all take a daily walk of some sort, even if it's from the car to the office door.  So I propose we start carrying a bag with us and pick up stuff along the way.  Only this time, instead of dumping it on the court house lawn, recycle it.

If you want to do this in style, you could visit the Universal Pantheist zazzle store linked from http://universalpantheist.ning.com/ and buy a tote bag, Tshirt, or hat to wear while you do this, but you really don't need that part.  The beauty of this activity, is that you can do it any day, wearing anything from a business suit to nothing at all.  While the latter may better show your love of all things natural, it may also get you arrested. 

Anyway, the idea isn't about what you wear, it's about what you pick up and recycle.  And I think the idea could catch on.  If others see an unlittered area, or better yet, see a respectable person such as yourself picking up litter and recycling it, they will surely want to do the same.  And I think they'll be less likely to toss an aluminum can or a (gasp!) plastic bottle  out their car window.

And folks will see you always carrying your reusable bag and ask what's up.  And you can tell them what's up.  And the Earth will hold you lovingly and ob-la-di, ob-la-da life will go on.  It's such a small thing to do for Mother.

You were always waiting for this moment to arrive, so come on. . . . . why don't we do it in the road?

What's Your Number?

This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55 hosted by Mr. Knowitall. For more 55's pay him a visit - http://g-man-mrknowitall.blogspot.com/

I long for the time before cholesterol was invented. Back when bacon was a perfectly acceptable meat to have with eggs, and real ice cream was a wholesome treat. Back when you didn’t have to take drugs that can cause diarrhea, constipation, dizziness, bloating, fatigue, and yellowing of the eyes to bring the number down.

That Girl!

This is a Flash Fiction Friday 55 hosted by Mr. Knowitall. For more 55's pay him a visit -  http://g-man-mrknowitall.blogspot.com/


 

 

Now the table has turned.


Do I ground my 88 year old mother for running with a wild younger crowd, for getting into mischief with these rowdy Baptists and getting in a wreck?

This could have been so much worse! I was worried sick! Why didn’t you call me!

There is symmetry and justice here.

Ding Dong. . . Universe Calling

Some people can say So and so was the love of my life. I’ve only been able to say So and so was the love of my decade. Or of my year or month. The same goes for what I’ve been called by the Universe to do.


I've got to say I’ve never heard a deep bass voice say, "Hey, Fay. . . This is God and I want you to do such and such."  I guess I've been more nudged than called to do various things at various times. Possibly, I’ve been silently called. That is, I may have been meant to do things that I did and I never realized their importance. It’s sort of like the tiny movement of air from the flutter of a butterfly eventually causing a hurricane.

The other day I told a young lady in the waiting room that she was beautiful. This is something I can do in a socially acceptable way now that I’m fiddy fav. Anyway, maybe that statement was just enough to keep her from feeling suicidal. And maybe she will go on to tutor a kid who decides to finish school, and that kid grows up to be the father of a president. It could happen.

The truth is, every little thing we do affects everything else in some way. There’s just no getting around it – each one of us is important and called to do things.

Some people are called in a loud booming voice and have no question in their minds about it. And though our "calls" are just as important, some of us only hear ours in echo or we don’t even hear them at all.

Are you feeling lucky?

I've decided to enter the contest described at http://outoftheboondocks.blogspot.com/2011/01/microfiction-monday_17.html by Mama Badger, and to offer one of my own.
This should be especially fun since I've no idea who LG, et al are.  I'm just supposed to answer these questions and submit them. 
Hey, I'm feeling lucky, are you? 
If you answer the first set of questions, let Mama Badger know.
When you answer the second set, let me know. 

The Questions:

1) Who is MB's all time favorite Sesame Street character?
Coach, the bartender. His honesty and dry martini won MB's heart.

2) What is LG's favorite color?
Red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese icing.


3) If you were in prison, what would the crime be?
Murder.  Definitely murder, not divorce.  A clever, subtle murder that was nearly perfect.


4) Dark and swarthy or blond and beautiful? (which is really like asking who's cuter, LG or little o. What, you're not their Mom. You can have a favorite
Yes.
 
 
 
 
OK, now for Fay's quiz contest.  Answer each question totally honestly and let me know, via your comment how to find your answers.  I will choose the winner sometime in the near future. Winner will receive an all expense paid trip to someplace really cool, or something else.  Prize and winner will be determined by me and only me, however, I'm open to bribes.
 
Now for the questions:
 
1) True or false:  I feel much the same today.
 
2) True or false:  I have never cared for room temperature
 
3) Have you ever felt beside yourself and looked really fast and found out you weren't there?
 
4) Do you remember the 70s?
 
5) What is the meaning of life?
 
6) Give an analogy for something like a star.
 
 
Well, that's it.  Six questions.   I'm a psychotherapist and I'll know if you cheat, so don't even try it.